In one of my recent searches I stumbled across this beauty, which had been lost to my subconscious for a good reason. From the opening that made me wonder if I had somehow accidentally turned on a Michael Bolton music video, to the odd musical numbers, this was a trip back to the 80s. So many cliches! The mean popular girls, the shoulder pads, the nerd who can somehow transform into a beauty who is obsessed with the jock (who has a heart of gold, naturally).
I definitely didn’t remember (or perhaps these things went over my head) the sex ed class wherein the class clown reels off a list of penis synonyms, or the nerd that the main nerd is tricked into going to a dance with who repeatedly tries to grope her. But luckily our heroine is about to turn 16 and come into her witchy powers. Now everything she wishes comes true!
So, why does she have to learn actual spells in Latin, when she can just wish her little brother to turn into a dog? Who knows! The next obvious step is getting the popular girls to turn on themselves and spell the jock to fall in love with her. One of her clever plans is to have the jock come over to do schoolwork and she hides all the chairs in her room so they have to both sit on the bed. Naughty, naughty!
Some of my favorite moments:
- Teen witch pulls out a voodoo doll. Mom: “Oh, isn’t that cute!”
- Rap battle
- Random saxophone solo
- The bedazzled jean jacket, heels with ankle socks, hair teased to the sky
Want to experience a piece of the magic?
There are only a handful of other Halloween films that can compete with this, such as:
- The Craft (1996) – Witches in full mid-nineties glory, but basically the same plot.
- Hocus Pocus (1993) – This one stands the test of time much better than Teen Witch, but it’s still a lot of fun!
- The Worst Witch (1986) – Tim Curry is so… dreamy? This stars a young Fairuza Balk (of The Craft fame). You really need to watch to the end for that awesomely awful musical number.